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Inspiring, Educating & Supporting women to live well with fibromyalgia

about

MY FIBROMYALGIA STORY

I remember being in my late teens and always having a sore back, shoulders, neck and legs.  I thought it was normal and tried to ignore it. In my early 20s it was becoming intolerable so I went to the doctor. After some blood tests and a trip to the rheumatologist I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was told to Google it for information and find a psychologist. I was told it was a mysterious condition and there was no cure.

Over the next 15 years my symptoms became worse and more complex.  I had unrelenting fatigue, extreme widespread pain, brain fog at times, crippling stomach aches, allergies and sensitivities, trouble standing up for long, anxiety and depression.  Every doctor I saw wrote it all off as ‘fibromyalgia’ and gave me no options apart from psychological therapy and strong medications. The medication I tried made my symptoms worse and I became frighteningly suicidal.  I stopped seeing doctors for a few years after that experience as I had lost trust in their ability to care for me.

I suffered in silence for a long time, putting up with the pain and pushing through despite the message from my body that something was seriously wrong. A glass of wine (or 5) at the end of the day was often my only respite from the suffering. I self-medicated with addictive substances and was in denial that my behaviour could be contributing in any way.

In increasing desperation, I started trying different diets, alternative therapies and spent a lot of money trying to feel better.  Some things seemed to work for a while but then the symptoms would return. During this intense time, I had recurring nervous breakdowns, pushed to the brink of my capacity and sanity by being tortured in the body I could not escape from. Each time I would be forced to stop work (I had a successful career as an interior designer in Sydney) and totally rest.  I’d feel better after a few months, think I was healed, and go straight back to my stressful job and partying lifestyle.

At the end of 2014 I was breaking again and made the huge decision to leave my career and the city and move to Byron Bay. I rested, went to TAFE to study organic farming and created a relatively relaxed and clean lifestyle for myself.  But I kept getting sick and I had another 3 breakdowns over the next 3 years. I had become so sensitive that I was reacting to chemicals, noise, lighting and electromagnetic frequencies. Just a few hours of work would leave me exhausted. During this time, at my wits end but with no escape door available, I began learning everything I could about fibromyalgia and my array of symptoms. Slowly I began to understand what might be causing my suffering and I dedicated myself to trying every strategy that I thought might work.  I was at the point where I realised my life was worth nothing if I didn’t have my health.  I was facing long term unemployment, reliance on disability payments and the inability to enjoy my life in the way that I desired.  Increasingly, health became my priority and to this day it remains so.

To document everything I undertook to get better would require a whole book but here’s a short summary of the highlights:

I started with Dr. Ginevra Liptan’s book The Fibro Manual (she has fibromyalgia and is a medical doctor). I worked my way through most of that and most importantly, gained the hope and optimism I needed to believe that I could heal.

Next, I prioritised re-wiring my nervous system which had been stuck in sympathetic (fight-flight) stress for a long time. This involved healing trauma through psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing, Feldenkrais, cranio sacral therapy and neuro-sensory practices . This was a vital step for me and as a result of this process I feel I have now a competitive advantage over most people in life. Knowing how to be aware of and to respond consciously to your nervous system is a powerful skill.  The term ‘psychosomatic’ is a dirty word in the fibromyalgia communities but it’s actually a very real and provable bio-neurological process that can significantly contribute to fibromyalgia symptoms.  The autonomic nervous system which is linked to the brain controls many functions in the body and if it’s not functioning optimally it can wreak havoc on our health.

Following this, I received a diagnosis for Helicobacter Pylori which is a toxic bacteria that lives in the stomach. I believe it had been there for over 15 years and was the main underlying cause of my health issues. The infection was causing my IBS symptoms and led to maldigestion, nutrient deficiencies, dysbiosis, leaky gut and compromised immunity. This then caused food allergies and widespread chronic inflammation. My stomach issues were a really big deal and I was feeling traumatised by the years of daily pain and aching.  Anti-biotics effectively treated the infection and I no longer get crippling stomach aches or bloating. I thought this was the end of my gut issues but years later we discovered that issues were still at play which require ongoing treatment and dietary restriction.

Next, I discovered that I am reactive hypoglycaemic and that my constantly plummeting blood sugar levels was causing brain fog and unstable energy levels. By cutting out most carbohydrates from my diet I felt significantly better.  It was very challenging during the first few months and giving up sugar was easily the hardest of all my addictions to break. It was worth it. I’m now free from incessant cravings and severe blood sugar crashes and can enjoy sweets in small doses.

In addition to the above, a pivotal strategy for my improvement was finding the key supplements that my body was missing in order to function optimally. I take daily supplements for immunity, energy, exercise recovery and to support my mental health.

These days I live 90% pain free and have plenty of energy for daily life and lots of exercise. I do have to be careful and I do have occasional flare ups, but they are not as extreme and calm down quite quickly.

This was a long and expensive journey and it continues to this day. I tried and benefitted from many other therapies in between including mindfulness, vipassana meditation, chakra healing, plant medicines, functional testing, drastic lifestyle modifications including detoxification and letting go of alcohol and drug consumption, shamanic energy clearing, CBD oil, Ancestral Movement, Ayurveda, earthing, self-love, supportive community and harnessing the power of my mind. I integrate aspects of these into my daily life now and am grateful for the gifts of health, vitality and community that they offer me.

As a result of my journey I now have a huge wealth of knowledge regarding some of the underlying causes of fibromyalgia symptoms and my mission is to share this with those who most need it. Not having a medical degree, specialist training or therapeutic discipline gives me the advantage of being a generalist. I believe this is an important missing piece of solving the fibromyalgia puzzle.  If we look for one cause, we won’t find it, but when we zoom out and look at the big picture, then zoom in where we need to, we find answers and improvement.

WHAT IS FIBROMYALGIA?

Fibromyalgia is a syndrome characterised by widespread chronic pain and fatigue and is usually accompanied by other symptoms such as joint stiffness, headaches, depression, anxiety, sleep issues, cognitive problems (brain fog) and digestive disorders. This is a complex condition that involves multiple systems in the body including the nervous system, digestion, metabolism and immunity.

At its core, the condition is widely considered to be a disorder in pain processing mediated by the central nervous system, which includes the brain. Often referred to as ‘central sensitisation’, this disorder has the characteristics of amplifying pain signals and simulating unusual regions of the brain when pain is being processed. It can also create extreme sensitivities to touch, light, sounds and odours. When activated, this process can result in ‘sickness behaviour’ which is a normal and natural response to illness that includes withdrawal, rest, fatigue, depression and loss of concentration.

In Australia, fibromyalgia is diagnosed by patients reporting on their symptom severity in the previous week, once symptoms have been present at a similar level for at least 3 months. Importantly, a fibromyalgia diagnosis is technically only valid if the patient does not have a disorder that would otherwise explain the pain and accompanying symptoms.

There is currently no known pathology for fibromyalgia. This means that researchers have been unable to find a single diagnosable biological marker to explain the complex array of symptoms experienced. There is lots of research happening around the world and some interesting hypothesis but so far nothing can explain the condition simply. This is why fibromyalgia is currently regarded as a syndrome which means it is a cluster of symptoms.

The problem with this is that doctors may lump all of your symptoms under the fibromyalgia banner and may not be investigating them as separate, diagnosable and treatable conditions (this happened to me!). Symptoms of pain, fatigue, brain fog and IBS can be caused by known, diagnosable disorders so investigating these can result in effective treatment and potentially complete healing.

In addition, the lack of a clear biomarker for fibromyalgia means that different people with the same symptoms, could have different underlying issues.

I believe a true fibromyalgia diagnosis should only be given when exhaustive testing has been undertaken and all underlying functional disorders addressed as best as possible.

If symptoms persist after such investigations, skilled management strategies can be implemented to reduce suffering and increase quality of life.

WHY BEFRIENDING THE BODY?

A vital component of my personal healing journey was shifting the relationship that I had with my body.  From my mid-teens my body had been a place of discomfort, stress and torture and I would escape from it as often as I could. Drugs, alcohol, sleep and daydreaming were my preferred methods of dissociation. As my fibromyalgia symptoms increased over the years, my disconnection from my body became worse.  As a result, I became more distressed and daily life was more challenging to manage.  I would wake up in the morning so far out from my body that it took me a while to remember who and where I was. When I did, I was so distressed by the incredible pain I experienced that I felt like I was trapped in hell on earth.  It would then be a race against the clock to get my aching body moving, get ready and get to work. At work my body would scream at me all day for attention but I just ignored it until 5pm when I could start drinking to numb the pain.

Does this cycle sound familiar?

My body felt like a torture chamber a lot of the time and this is a predicament I would never wish upon anybody. It’s so difficult to have a healthy relationship with our bodies when they are so uncomfortable but my experience taught me that this is one of the key foundations to healing and health.

It’s easy to be ‘at war’ with our bodies or this thing called ‘fibromyalgia’ but I find this attitude counter-productive, hence the name of my business.  In befriending our bodies, we come to see that the pain and fatigue we experience are messengers and that they provide us with important clues as to where our lives are out of harmony and balance. In befriending our bodies, we start to make better choices about how to think and behave and we begin to grow in appreciation for all of the things that our bodies do efficiently, effectively and cooperatively. We may also start to acknowledge the ways in which we’ve unknowingly or subconsciously used and abused our bodies and see that in many ways they are incredible, resilient and miraculous.

With this attitude, healing unfolds.  We switch from blame to responsibility and become empowered in our journey towards health and vitality. The more we appreciate our bodies the more self-respect and self-love we can generate and from there we can’t help but prioritise our health and do whatever we possibly can to feel our best.

The power of belief in creating or compromising physical health is now well established. Bruce Lipton’s work outlined in his book The Biology of Belief looks at the impact of human consciousness on the expression of our genes, an area of medical science called epigenetics. There is also Joe Dispenza’s book You Are the Placebo which gives fascinating examples of the power of thought to affect the body.  With this in mind, we must consider the impact of holding attitudes of resentment or hate towards our precious bodies and consciously choose to hold loving appreciation, curiosity, kindness and a responsibility of care towards them instead. Likewise, we do ourselves a great disservice by believing we are unable to improve. This belief is psychologically depressing and only contributes to our misery. By choosing to believe that improvement is possible, we lighten the burden and start to move towards the things that will inspire and help us rather than staying stuck in suffering.

All of the coaching strategies used in this business have an underlying aim to create a loving and healthy relationship between your mind, body and spirit. This is essential in supporting your wellness endeavours and ultimately, healing.

services

One hour consultation

For those not needing, not ready yet or not able to embark on a longer-term coaching program, these one-hour consultations provide you with an opportunity to express your most troubling concerns and ask your most pressing questions. Having someone to talk to who understands exactly what you are going through can provide immense relief and many people find inspiration and motivation from these sessions.

This is also an opportunity to sus me out to see if the way I work will be suited to you and if the inspiration and information I share is useful.

Some of you might only need one or two of these sessions to figure out your health issue. Others might find that a few one-hour consultations are useful to get you started and then down the track you might want the ongoing support of a coaching program that includes deeper detective work, goal setting and accountability as well as trouble shooting issues that arise.

Sessions are recorded so that you can listen back over them in order to extract every piece of useful information. This can be really useful for those who are dealing with brain fog.

Please note that these consultations do not constitute coaching. Coaching is on ongoing process of experiential learning where clients are empowered to efficiently realise their goals through inspirational dialogue and creative action planning. Change is most effective when a program is committed to and followed through.

The cost of a One Hour Consultation is AUD$90

Please get in touch if you have any questions or would like to book an appointment.

One month one-on-one coaching

This is Befriending the Body’s introductory coaching program. It provides a sample of fibromyalgia coaching and a taste of what can be achieved through working with a coach. Hour long sessions allows plenty of time for you to share your story, discuss your symptoms and identify where you most need information and support.

Coaching is a client-centred process where you set your personal goals and are supported to achieve them.  This is an ongoing process of experiential learning where you are empowered to efficiently realise your aspirations through inspirational dialogue and creative action planning.  I will be by your side to collaborate, guide, educate and encourage you.

This program is ideal for:

  • Those who are new to coaching and want to try it out before committing longer term
  • Those with relatively minor symptoms who only require a little help
  • Those on a budget

During our month working together we will:

  • Identify and set your personal health goals
  • Take a look at your current symptoms for clues of underlying issues
  • Identify causes of stress and plan a management strategy
  • Identify ways to better work with your medical doctor
  • Explore your mindset and beliefs around fibromyalgia, healing and your body
  • Discuss and explore any issues that you need help with

From this program you will:

  • Feel more in control, empowered and optimistic about your health
  • Receive quality information regarding the possible underlying causes for your fibromyalgia symptoms
  • Better understand how you can control your symptoms
  • Know some of the key questions to ask your medical doctor
  • Be more mindful of your body
  • Shift your mindset to believe it is possible for you to heal from fibromyalgia
  • Be deeply heard and compassionately understood by someone whose been there too

This program includes:

  • 4 x weekly one-hour zoom sessions which include follow up emails, information resources, coaching tools and personalised trouble shooting strategies (to be undertaken within a max. 8 week period)
  • Emailed recording of sessions for you to listen over (great for brain fog!)
  • 4 x check in 15 minute phone calls if required
  • Fibromyalgia Foundations E-Book
  • Future Self visualisation meditation
  • Befriending the Body meditation
  • Body Scan meditation
  • Gentle Movement meditation
  • 10% Discount on Befriending The Body support circles and meditation classes

The cost for One Month of Coaching is AUD$350

Please get in touch if you have any questions or would like to book an appointment.

Three month one-on-one coaching

This is Befriending the Body’s standard program and the one recommended for most fibromyalgia sufferers.  Three months provides a good timeframe to thoroughly review and analyse symptoms, co-ordinate with medical doctors and other therapists, undertake more detailed diagnostic testing, discuss and set personal goals, observe changes and benefit from ongoing support and encouragement.  During this program we also get to identify any blockages you may have towards change and healing. We can then use coaching strategies to work on these so that you can move forward towards your health goals. Imagine the power of having your own personal cheer leader for three months! The moral support this offers provides potent inspiration and calls to action for healing and change.

This program is ideal for:

  • Those with a list of complex symptoms that will require time to thoroughly go through
  • Those with money to invest in themselves to support healing and wellness
  • Those who are ready to feel better and are willing to make some lifestyle changes and know they will benefit from the ongoing support and encouragement of a coach

During our three months working together we will:

  • Identify and set your personal health goals and work towards achieving those
  • Take a comprehensive look at your current symptoms for clues of underlying issues
  • Identify further testing that could help diagnose underlying causes of your symptoms
  • Work collaboratively with your medical doctor and complimentary therapists
  • Identify causes of stress and plan management strategies
  • Explore your mindset and beliefs around fibromyalgia, healing and your body
  • Discuss and explore any issues that you need help with

From this program you will:

  • Feel in control, empowered and optimistic about your health
  • Receive quality information regarding the possible underlying causes for your fibromyalgia symptoms
  • Better understand how you can control your symptoms and be able to systematically address each one
  • Know specifically what to discuss with your medical doctors and therapists
  • Be more mindful of your body
  • Develop a caring and compassionate relationship with your body
  • Be passionately supported and encouraged in your healing endeavours for three months
  • Have a safe space to work on your healing

This program includes:

  • 10 x one-hour online zoom sessions which includes follow up emails, information resources, coaching tools and personalised trouble shooting strategies (to be undertaken within a max. 12 week period)
  • Emailed recording of sessions for you to listen over (great for brain fog!)
  • 10 x check in 15 minute phone calls if required
  • Fibromyalgia Foundations E-Book
  • Future Self visualisation meditation
  • Befriending the Body meditation
  • Body Scan meditation
  • Gentle Movement meditation
  • 10% Discount on Befriending the Body support circles and mindfulness classes

The cost for Three Months of Coaching is AUD$880

Please get in touch if you have any questions or would like to book an appointment.

Online Support Circles

Do you long for connection with people who actually get what you’re going through? How often do you get the chance to speak your deepest truth, from the heart, knowing you will be received with compassion and love?

As women with fibromyalgia we often feel like no one really understands what we are experiencing. It can be a very lonely and isolating road to travel. You say you’re in pain but you push on with a smile, then you feel guilty that the people around you won’t believe you, and sometimes you may actually start to question yourself.  Welcome to life with fibromyalgia.

Imagine having the opportunity to talk about what you’re going through with other women who are living it too.  Imagine feeling fully understood and empathised with. Imagine hearing others stories and feeling a deep sense of relief as you realise YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR SUFFERING. Imagine doing all of this from the comfort of your own home.

Studies have shown that social support can impact the relationships between stress and health outcomes.  The more we feel supported through being heard, genuine empathy, compassion and connection, the more likely we are to heal.  The isolating nature of fibromyalgia can create a negative feedback loop that sees us progressing further into suffering rather than towards healing.

Why Circles?

Women around the world have been gathering in circles for thousands of years. Sometimes openly and sometimes in secret, but always with the intention to listen, offer support and share strength and wisdom.

I began sitting in circle in 2017 and it contributed significantly to my personal healing. I had complex trauma that I had developed from being bullied at school for many years, mostly by girls. As a result, I carried a wounding with women and it was deeply impacting my life, my ability to feel connected and my ability to feel safe. This contributed to my fibromyalgia symptoms.

Attending Sister Circles gave me an opportunity to share my own struggles and to realise that every women, everywhere, is struggling in some way too. The connection that occurs when you realise you are not alone, that no one is perfect and that you project ideals onto people without really knowing what’s going on for them is powerful. It leads to healing and a deep sense of relief and relaxation.

As women with fibromyalgia we have a unique experience of life and therefore we have a unique opportunity to support and connect with each other.

Getting together in person can be challenging for us due to work and family commitments, exhaustion and pain. That’s why I’ve created an online circle where we can gather and connect. Using Zoom groups, we gather together one night a week for 4 weeks. This means that we get to know each other throughout the month, building on the trust, safety and connection as we go. We use video so that we see each other but hold no judgement if we choose to show up with no make-up, in our pajamas or call in from bed.

These circles are a safe space for us to share from the heart. For some of us this might be the first time we get this opportunity which can be frightening or incredibly relieving.

Women are constantly surprised at how much they have to say when they are truly given the space to speak from the heart without interruption, retaliation or being given unsolicited advice.  You will never be interrupted while speaking and you will never be given unsolicited advice.  In fact, we make a point of not giving advice to anyone in circle.  That’s not what this space is for. We share our experiences and trust that the wisdom of the group and our hearts will guide us if we need it. 

The medicine is simply in the sharing, the being heard, the feeling understood and being empathised with. Sharing is always optional. You share what you want and only if you want. Some nights you might just want to listen to what the other women have to offer. There is as much medicine in the listening as there is in the speaking

This is a potent space for healing to occur.

Are you ready to join in one of our beautiful circles?

Circles are run approximately every two months, alternating month to month between Monday and Tuesday nights. Each circle goes for 2 hours from 7pm –  9pm Australian Eastern time and is held via Zoom.

I have been holding circles for 3 years and am a certified Sister Circle facilitator having trained with my inspiring friend and mentor, Kate Reed.  Kate has been running circles for 20 years and has finely tuned her teachings to offer the most loving, supportive and healing circles possible. I am deeply passionate about the powerful transformation that women’s circles provide and I take great joy in facilitating these spaces.

To be notified when the next course is being offered, sign up to the newsletter here

The Four Foundations of Mindfulness online classes

Self-awareness is a core foundation of effective fibromyalgia management and one of the best ways to cultivate this quality is through mindfulness mediation practices.

Increased self-awareness helps us to become more in-tune with our bodies so that we are better able to notice and interpret the signals it sends to us. This can be invaluable in guiding our health investigations and providing descriptive information to our health care professionals.

We also become more familiar with our mental and emotional states and can develop skills in managing these for more peace and relaxation. This can flow on to support our bodies to feel more comfortable and be in a conducive state to heal.

Much like learning an instrument or any new skill, having a teacher and practicing are necessary parts of the process.  Many people make the mistake of thinking that you sit down to meditate and simply quieten your mind but anyone that’s tried knows it is not usually that easy. Luckily, the practice of meditation and mindfulness has thousands of years of history and many wonderful guides to help us.

In this class you will journey through The Four Foundations of Mindfulness which is a process outlined by the Buddha in the classic Satipatthana Sutta. Each week we will discuss one of the foundations and then do a guided mediation to put it into practice. You will be provided with a recording so that you can practice each foundation at home.  The more you practice, the more you will develop the skill.

The Four Foundations of Mindfulness guide us through stages of awareness.  We start with awareness of the body, then progress to awareness of feelings and on to awareness of the mind. The Fourth Foundation is having the awareness of all phenomenon. In this state we begin to see clearly the relationship dynamics between the first three foundations and how we contribute to and perpetuate suffering.  From this insight comes wisdom. The wisdom to use our awareness to make better decisions in order to reduce suffering and increase peace and happiness.

Weekly classes are provided online via Zoom

This program is ideal for:

  • Those who are ready to develop self-awareness skills to help improve wellbeing and symptoms of fibromyalgia
  • Those new to meditation or those wanting to develop their mindfulness skills further
  • Those who want to access mindfulness teachings from the comfort of your home

During our month together we will:

  • Learn about the benefits of mindfulness and a regular meditation practice, especially when dealing with fibromyalgia
  • Learn the theory of The Four Foundations of Mindfulness
  • Undertake 4 different guided mediation practices to cultivate more mindfulness in your life
  • Actively cultivate supportive attitudes to meditation including non-judgement, acceptance, curiosity and loving kindness
  • Have time for your questions to be answered

From this program you will:

  • Have a clear understanding of why a regular mediation practice is beneficial for your mental, emotional and physical health
  • Develop skills that increase your mindfulness and self-awareness
  • Gain a greater understanding of where in your life you may be inviting in unnecessary suffering
  • Develop insight and wisdom which can help guide you to live a happier and healthier life
  • Cultivate positive attitudes to help with your meditation and daily life

This program includes:

  • 4 x weekly zoom classes
  • 4 x recorded meditations
  • The Four Foundations of Mindfulness for Fibromyalgia E-Book

To be notified when the next course is being offered, sign up to the newsletter here

Free 15 minute consult

This complimentary 15 minute consult is for those interested in working with me but not sure where to start or exactly what I offer. This is your opportunity to briefly share where you are at and what you most need help with so that we can establish the best way to work together to achieve your goals.  You can also ask any questions you have about the services I offer.

Please get in touch. I’d love to chat with you.

Testimonials

Resources

e-books

The following E-Books are provided free of charge. Click to download:

guided meditations

The following guided meditations are provided free for download:

 

(Right click on the control bar in the window that opens and select ‘download video’)

Videos

Discussing Holistic Fibromyalgia Management on the Love Your Diagnosis podcast 

Love Your Diagnosis is a podcast that dives deep into the world of health, wellness, and empowerment. In each episode of Love Your Diagnosis, Lanie interviews individuals who have successfully managed their diagnosis. In this episode Georgie Coghlan shares her story of being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 20 years ago, what standard treatment offered and what she uncovered about her health on her journey to empowerment and effective treatment.

 

Integrative Approach for Treating Fibromyalgia

In this video Georgie discusses the three main aspects to consider when treating fibromyalgia and how integrative medicine approaches contributed to her personal healing

NEWSLETTER

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